Gossip

"Did you know that she was with him? I saw it." "He is a bastard and I hear he has a small dick."

That's how it starts, one person makes a comment and so begins the chain, a single strand is spun, and then the gossip reverberates throughout the entire web.   Every single person reading this has been involved with gossip to some degree or another, myself included.

Positive Reasons to Spread Gossip / Rumors:

Believe it or not there are a couple of justifiable, if not all out naughty, reasons to start a rumor.

For example; I once lived in a small town in Vermont. After purchasing 300 acres and notifying the rednecks they would have to ask my permission to hunt my land [ I paid the taxes, my rules], I was met with threats and resistance. What did I do?

Conveniently, my last name is Italian (and people stereotype on demand ), I was coming from NYC, and  it made sense to spread a rumor I had mafia connections.  It worked like a charm.

The only other reason to spread rumors is for business purposes, i.e., Public Relations.

The Good in Gossip:

You should never believe all or most of what you hear.  However, if you keep hearing the same thing over and over again, there may just be a kernel of truth to it.  Gossip is sometime a great starting off point to separate the pearls from the swine. Most people can't keep their fat mouths shut and eventually the truth will reveal itself.  The best part is that it often comes to you and you don't even have to look for it.

People who make stupid choices and create fodder: 

There are individuals who carelessly associate themselves with idiots and become a target for gossip.  They know that by associating with person X it's going to cause a stir and they're either too selfish or stupid to disassociate themselves with that person. Albeit, often I would say, "who cares, do what ever you want with whom ever you want." But if you have a choice in the people you befriend and choose the wrong ones because you are selfish or uneducated, then shame on you and you deserve what you get. Moreover,people enjoy drama but they love elevating themselves at the expense of someone else even more.  The show "Gossip Girls" is a perfect example of this.  

Note: The people we associate ourselves with and the privacy we maintain are paramount in keeping gossip to a minimum.  It has a lot to do with maturity and discretion.  Think of gossip as a destructive disease and the people that spread it as viruses.  

Your Choices Shouldn't be based on what people will say:

Your choices for "who you do and what you do" should be based on the simplicity, ethics, and considerate outcomes.  On the contrary,  choices made based on the fear someone will talk about you is an element that should not be taken into consideration.

Should you listen?:

Yes and no. Yes, you should passively listen but always maintain an inner dialogue of , "what is the messenger's intention?, and most of the details are probably not true."  

No, because gossip can create delusional ideas that can manifest themselves as angst in your life.

Should you repeat?:

 No, let the gossip dead end at you. 

Go to the source:

Most gossip surrounds topics of cheating or some sort of sleazy behavior.  Therefore, my best advice, and a policy I dogmatically adhere to, is to go to the source, Ask her / him what the truth is.  Give the object of the gossip the opportunity to come clean and tell you the truth.  This is a fantastic way to get to the truth and puts you in the power chair; 1. If they "just by chance" tell the truth you can ignore future gossip 2. If they lie you can come back and reek havoc on their lives.  The truth always prevails!  Keep in mind that a liar is more prevalent than gossiper...oh, what a challenge human communication can be. 

Comments

[Lieve from the Netherlands]

I always experienced that when people were gossiping about someone and I was there...it made me so bloody tired (because of all the info that was said and discussed). Next to the fact it became really boring to me, they expected me to remember all the detailsl!

So I just stopped hanging out with some of them, or at least with them all at once (it seems the disease sticks its ugly head up easier when there are more people to infect). They must think I'm a bore now, but I don't really care anymore...I rather kill the virus by not feeding it. Makes me a bit of a better person anyway LOL.

As long as there is someone 'in the crowd' who thinks...hmm maybe we just shouldn't judge or talk behind this persons back now...how would it make him/ her feel? ...and instead of all that blablabla : Let's just get a drink and dance or have fun...there's still hope ;)
I just believe in the phrase; treat people how you want to be treated. Use your energy for more important things.

Keep it up Steve :)