[see the bottom of this blog for more details]
Meeting someone you're attracted to is 70% of the battle. The other 30% is keeping him around or, in many cases, him keeping YOU around for longer than three months. Note: three months is the first bench mark of most relationships. Because we live in a "use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without" society, people are quick to judge who's good and who's bad and who's a big fat loser with bad teeth.
When we see reality shows, dating shows, or TV segments that offer advice, they often relate topics as if we all live smack in the middle of major cities. If you live in a city where you're exposed to the masses on a daily basis then the chances of you meeting someone increases proportionally. However, believe it or not [TV land] many of us DON'T live where we meet a potential suitor hourly. Therefore, follow these 5 simple steps no matter where you live, and you'll meet someone. I can't promise love or happily ever after but you'll meet someone.
If You're desperate steps:
1. Take off all your clothes and walk into your local bar
2. Shoot a high powered rifle off of the roof of a bank [always shoot into the air towards open land]
3. Sing, "me so horny, ah, me so horny" at the top of your lungs in front of a prison.
4. Set a trampoline up in your front yard or local park [no need to get dressed, stay naked] and jump up and down holding a lottery ticket yelling "I won, I won".
5. Crash a wedding and pass our a post card. On the front should be a sexy picture of yourself naked and on the back should be all the things you're good at: Bj's, cleaning, not complaining etc etc.
Now, once the men start lining up, it's up to you to sift through the losers and the winners because the above 5 simple steps will attract most men.
If you're not desperate steps:
1. Dress sexy as all hell. When I say dress sexy as all hell, I mean Maxim magazine sexy and NOT like those dogs on Un-Sexy and the City.
2. Go places, stores, and buildings in your town [and surrounding areas] where you've never been before. You are now Dora the Explorer. Talk to everyone in these places as if you've had way too much coffee. Tone it down if you see a hot guy. Part II is to go on walks. Yes, it may sound odd, but when you go on walks you see people and people see you. Just don't go at night and always be safe!
3. Take your calendar and plot out a military styled approach to grocery shopping and the gym. You must, over a month's period, find out when all the hot guys are at the gym or grocery store. Simply place the hours and days of your visits on the calendar and use a ;-) happy face for the good days and times and a ;-( sad face when all the fat people and their annoying kids are there. p.s. if your gym stinks, find a new one. Time is of the essence here.
4. You must find your local fishing / hunting store and become friends with the clerk. If you live on the coast, find the local surf shop, kayak emporium, or high end bicycle store and make any excuse to come in. Note: you must always look casual sexy hot. NO RED LIPSTICK! EVER!
5. Start conversations with guys but NEVER offer your phone number. Let them ask for it or they suck and you'll end up hating them anyway. You're ONE get out of Jail free card is that you can give them your name and say: "face book me". Then walk away. The only reason I offer this card is because guys hate rejection and sometimes the right guy just needs a little nudge. I said a nudge not a shove over the cliff into "you're so desperate pond".
* * New merchandise is now available. Please take a look at the photos i've posted on Face Book and email us at badboysfinishfirst@gmail.com to place an order before it's up on the official BAD BOYS FINISH FIRST web site.
***We will also be selling a limited number of signed copies of The Manual. Pre order now by emailing us at badboysfinishfirst@gmail.com
Steve! Where are you?! :(
Posted by: Ela | July 09, 2010 at 04:06 PM
Dora the Explorer meets Fred the Fisherman. Hmm. sounds like a great baited date! LOL or a good way to catch a worm! ROFL
Posted by: Lisa at Wanderlust Women | July 10, 2010 at 03:13 PM
your advice is so cool....and enlightening... and the movie "ugly truth" was the same.... thanks for being a candid male....
heartfelt female response
Posted by: amy | September 03, 2010 at 12:24 PM