Are Women Killing Chivalry

The following blog was solicited by my friend Vanessa.

There are loads of double standards between the sexes. One of the few that doesn't favor males is that we are expected to pay for everything.  Conventionally speaking, men pay for  dinners, drinks, hotels, parking, and, often times, "da rent."  In return the modern woman does...ah, women do. Hmmm, let me think, women do? You bless us with sex? Sex isn't enough.  Sex is to easy to come by these days and, as far as I'm concerned, it's a 50 / 50 deal in bed, you're getting yours too, so we're back to square one. 

Point #1.

The gap closed, a long time ago, in what women make in the job market versus what men make, therefore technically, a woman is just as capable as a guy to pick up the tab but most opt not to.  Many of the men I talk to think women are cheap and say they become resentful when they are carrying the entire financial burden of relationship entertainment activities.

Point #2

I'm old fashioned and believe, in the early stages [the first two months], a guy should be chivalrous and take a woman out and pay for the date(s).  However, as the relationship gets it's footing, the woman should not only offer to pay, she should take the initiative and demand it.

Point #3

A lot of us are "financially challenged" these days and if you're a great woman with a great guy and don't have the bucks to pick up the tab while you're both "hitting the town" then you have several alternative choices, A. Don't hit the town until you can afford to B. Date a guy who is so rich he doesn't care about money or C. Make up for his extravagance in other ways, ways that are tangible but don't include sex as pay back. He may not say anything but, believe me, no one likes being unappreciated and his resentment will rear it's ugly head. Cooking him a meal, cleaning up, or taking care of something that makes his life easier goes a long way with us guys. Moreover, I can't tell you how many times I've held a door for a woman and didn't even receive a "thank you".  Are women killing chivalry? 

Point #4

The origin of how men came to be expected to pay for things dates back before the 1950's when women were expected to stay in the home, raise the children, and cook and clean. Now a days, "Betty Crocker" has a nanny, house keeper, and would be hard pressed to boil an egg.  My point is, this prehistoric arrangement is outdated. If you want "equal treatment" you also have the responsibility to share the finances.  

Point #5 

Money fks up a lot of would be solid relationships, one of the partners is spending to much, one is cheap, someone is in deep debt, and the arguing ensues. 

Point #6

Gold diggers are another story. The rich guys that are to ugly - or to boring - to score a hot chick and opt to pay for her presence in his life by shelling out gifts and cash and the pumped up vixen that is able to close her eyes tightly, get underneath him in bed, and focus on a new pair of shoes, deserve one another.  But if  you want love or a real connection this is NOT the arrangement for you. Moreover, have you ever noticed that it's almost unheard of that a hot guy will sleep with an ugly rich chick just so he can get a new motorcycle?  Men are unable to shut their eyes that tightly, there is no room dark enough to make this happen.

So ladies, think about it. I'm not saying you're all like this but today is the day to reflect on this matter.

*Note: if you're the primary bread winner and he's taking advantage of you, then, by all means, forward him this blog.

Comments

[Corrin]

Well said. I couldn't agree more. Times have changed, but chivalry is not dead, it's just a two way street now. Its how you make each other feel through what you do that matters.
Each blog you write gets better, Steve. I love it.

[Alexander Spearman]

I'll say one thing, the difference between the number of times I've held doors for women and the number of times I've received any sign of appreciation is huge. It's to the point where I'd rather hold a door for an old man than some chick who's 20 because I'm more likely receive some kind of appreciation from the old guy.

Growing up I was taught to hold doors, pull out chairs, etc. Once I hit college I asked "What's the point? I'm holding a door for a girl in an effort to be chivalrous and I don't receive anything in return, not even a simple smile? What's the deal with these young women?"

I then realized a majority of people from a generation before me who I'd expect would be gracious enough to nod when I held a door walked through as if I was just an obstruction to their path.

I don't think just women are to blame in the annihilation of chivalry, but current society in general becoming wrapped up in too large a mindset of self-entitlement. ME. MINE. I DESERVE.

Of course, there are always men and women of all ages who are appreciative, but they're now the odd ones out.

[Sucharita]

Ditto!!!

[Linda Runstein]

Do you remember all those prehistoric survival instints that you've mention in your books that go back to primintive times, like the CAVEMAN IN HEAT?

You've stated many times about all the the reasons why men are the hunters and protectors even to this day. Well I'm the cavewoman even to this day. The NURTURER, remember?

So show me your prey (the money) stop complaining as if all of a sudden you lost your instints and pay the check!!!