Ask Steve Santagati

Sexy Reminder BBFF Holiday Survival Guide

At the risk of sounding pessimistic  [please trust that I am NOT a Scrooge], the reality is that the next month  can be our most stressful time of year - for both men and women.  The good news is that I don't intend on outlining the angst without giving you some solid plans to help deal with it.  Below, please find your BAD BOYS FINISH FIRST / BAD GIRLS FINISH FIRST HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE.  Keep in mind this is a guide, not dogmatic rules.  Besides, you're going to do what ever the hell you want to do anyway but at least take my suggestions into consideration.

Note: When in doubt, exercise a lot and have as much sex as humanely possible!

The List:

1. Family

- Who's to go to

- Who's not to go to

- Is it too soon to introduce your boyfriend / girlfriend to your family and friends

*How to handle it:

- Don't wait until the last minute, make a plan today on who's family you will see and exactly how much time you will spend at their house.  Be militant about this but flexible when need be.  If they are coming over to your place, know when to kick them out. If they have no idea when they've over stayed their welcome, blow out the candles and start shutting off lights.  Pepper spray and a Taser are also acceptable remedies. 

- If you have recently begun dating someone and have not met the "three months together criteria" do NOT bring them to your family get together. It's best to sit this one out, do your own thing and regroup after the festivities. It may seem a bit cold or awkward but it's for the best.  Talk about it with your new guy or girl and make it a matter of maturity and practicality rather than one of "keeping your distance".  Albeit, keeping your distance may be the call but don't tell them that.

2. Christmas

- Money is -still- tight for many people 

- How much to spend on your significant other?

- If you just started dating, should you get them anything at all?

How to handle it:

- Buy a plane ticket, leave town December 20th and return January 2nd... I'm kidding, sort of.

- Budget Budget Budget.  Create a spending limit and prioritize who you really need to buy for.

- If you've been dating someone a brief time [less than three months] buying a small gift that says you appreciate them is all you need to do. In most cases something that costs you less than $50.  If you don't have the cash then give them the best sex they've ever had, assuming you know what "best sex" looks, feels, and sounds like.

- If you've been dating for a year or more then the onus is on you to take careful stock of who you're with. Get them something nice that shows you've paid attention to who they truly are, taking into consideration their hobbies and interests [if they have any lol ]. The point it to not just buy impersonal gifts as a matter of obligation!

3. New Years Eve

- What the hell should we do as a couple, single, or newly dating?

- It's amateur hour, restaurants and clubs gouge,  but your girl still wants to do "something"

- If you just started dating do you really want all that pressure to arrange something fun for New Years Eve?

How to handle it:

I've spent New Years Eves all over the world at big parties and clubs but, from my experience, it's more hype than anything else.  Still, every year I feel the pressure to be doing something "fabulous" that night to validate "I'm living large".

 A great night can be as simple as just the two of you, you and your significant other. But  If you're in your 20's, and you haven't figured out that New Years Eve "ain't all that" you soon will - after you spend a few thousand on night club tickets and over priced restaurants.  They, the owners of clubs and eateries, know you have to "buy entertainment" instead of creating it and they plan to charge you dearly for your lack of creativity.

 Moreover, my best New Years have been spent with a small group of people at house parties or with a girl I was in love with.  If I had it my way, and I do, I would be with a close group of friends, not get drunk, and find a good kisser no later than 11pm.

If you are lucky enough to be with someone you love, a romantic night should be planned no matter what she says.  I've made the mistake, in the past, of not planning anything and regretted it.  You can help your guy out by coming up with some feasible options.  Women make great party planners so why not take the reigns on this one.

The pressure on men to find something wonderful to do and the pressure on women to have someone to kiss at 12:01 am can be excruciating.  With that in mind, I would start planning right now.  Well everyone is rushing around shopping for gifts, you should be shopping for your New Years Eve plans. 

-  Best Bet> Rent a house somewhere and invite 20 to 30 people to a "theme styled" party.  Make sure there are places for your party goers to sleep in the house or close by. NO DRINKING AND DRIVING.

- Be Safe and Smart.  New Years Eve is a shit show and you don't want that one night of the year to bare problems for months to come.

Single on New Years is the best. Hop around from place to place, stay as long as you want, and befriend the people who just dumped their date or are single themselves.

4. Post Party Depression:

January 1st marks the beginning of the "void", what the hell are you supposed to do with yourself between now and Valentine's Day?  You've posted all your holiday Face Book pictures [ pursing your lips, drink in hand, waving gang signs, and other things that make you look extremely unattractive] , the Christmas tree has become a fire hazard, and you are regretting the weight you've gained.  

This is an especially difficult time of year for me because, unless I travel, there's not much to do in New England. So, I travel and  If you have the time and financial means I recommend going away once a month to recharge your batteries and get some sun.

 

You may be thinking I sound negative.  That is NOT my intention at all. I want you to plan things so that you can write me and say, "Steve, you were so wrong, I had a great holiday season and didn't suffer any of the problems you mentioned."  

Have an amazing Holiday Season and don't forget;

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Gossip

"Did you know that she was with him? I saw it." "He is a bastard and I hear he has a small dick."

That's how it starts, one person makes a comment and so begins the chain, a single strand is spun, and then the gossip reverberates throughout the entire web.   Every single person reading this has been involved with gossip to some degree or another, myself included.

Positive Reasons to Spread Gossip / Rumors:

Believe it or not there are a couple of justifiable, if not all out naughty, reasons to start a rumor.

For example; I once lived in a small town in Vermont. After purchasing 300 acres and notifying the rednecks they would have to ask my permission to hunt my land [ I paid the taxes, my rules], I was met with threats and resistance. What did I do?

Conveniently, my last name is Italian (and people stereotype on demand ), I was coming from NYC, and  it made sense to spread a rumor I had mafia connections.  It worked like a charm.

The only other reason to spread rumors is for business purposes, i.e., Public Relations.

The Good in Gossip:

You should never believe all or most of what you hear.  However, if you keep hearing the same thing over and over again, there may just be a kernel of truth to it.  Gossip is sometime a great starting off point to separate the pearls from the swine. Most people can't keep their fat mouths shut and eventually the truth will reveal itself.  The best part is that it often comes to you and you don't even have to look for it.

People who make stupid choices and create fodder: 

There are individuals who carelessly associate themselves with idiots and become a target for gossip.  They know that by associating with person X it's going to cause a stir and they're either too selfish or stupid to disassociate themselves with that person. Albeit, often I would say, "who cares, do what ever you want with whom ever you want." But if you have a choice in the people you befriend and choose the wrong ones because you are selfish or uneducated, then shame on you and you deserve what you get. Moreover,people enjoy drama but they love elevating themselves at the expense of someone else even more.  The show "Gossip Girls" is a perfect example of this.  

Note: The people we associate ourselves with and the privacy we maintain are paramount in keeping gossip to a minimum.  It has a lot to do with maturity and discretion.  Think of gossip as a destructive disease and the people that spread it as viruses.  

Your Choices Shouldn't be based on what people will say:

Your choices for "who you do and what you do" should be based on the simplicity, ethics, and considerate outcomes.  On the contrary,  choices made based on the fear someone will talk about you is an element that should not be taken into consideration.

Should you listen?:

Yes and no. Yes, you should passively listen but always maintain an inner dialogue of , "what is the messenger's intention?, and most of the details are probably not true."  

No, because gossip can create delusional ideas that can manifest themselves as angst in your life.

Should you repeat?:

 No, let the gossip dead end at you. 

Go to the source:

Most gossip surrounds topics of cheating or some sort of sleazy behavior.  Therefore, my best advice, and a policy I dogmatically adhere to, is to go to the source, Ask her / him what the truth is.  Give the object of the gossip the opportunity to come clean and tell you the truth.  This is a fantastic way to get to the truth and puts you in the power chair; 1. If they "just by chance" tell the truth you can ignore future gossip 2. If they lie you can come back and reek havoc on their lives.  The truth always prevails!  Keep in mind that a liar is more prevalent than gossiper...oh, what a challenge human communication can be. 

What we Miss May be Missing

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    I just got off the phone with a writer from London.  She was interviewing me for an up coming story in Australia's Cosmopolitan magazine, she asked me a question and it got me thinking.

 

     After the dust has settled - from your last relationship - and you're a free woman or man back out in the dating jungle [ and it is a fkn jungle with a lot of ugly monkeys, snakes, and "prickly plants" ], you may begin to miss your ex.  But what is it about your ex that you really miss, think about it, chances are they're your ex for some very good reasons.  Was he / she really that hot?, were they really that good in bed, were they a loving responsible boyfriend /girlfriend,  and was he /she attentive to your needs?  This question applies to both men and women. If HE / SHE  wasn't all these things - and more -then maybe what you're really missing isn't them at all, maybe you're really missing the love and being in love. I could bore you with the chemical processes that swirl through that noggin of yours - when you're in love - but I won't waste my breath.  The take home news is that most normal healthy adults like to feel love and give love. Oh, and HAVE GREAT SEX .  Notice I say "normal" people. I can't speak to every situation.

     As a man, I have to take care of a woman, sometimes to a fault [ I try to "save" them" and am good at it but it's taxing ].  Moreover,  I also like being taken care of, loved and supported.  Most good women take care of their men and most good guys take care of their girls.  Albeit, guys have another responsibility, MONEY. As far as women have come in the work force, men are still expected to foot the bill.  I, personally, will spend only as much money on the girl as she deserves and my generosity increases the longer we're together.  A guy would be an idiot to take a girl places and spend money on her if she wasn't returning the gesture somehow and didn't prove she was in it for the long haul. She has to earn privileges with both her investment in the relationship and her nurturing.   Likewise, a woman who spends time and effort to take care of a man when he's not pulling his weight is going into emotional debt.  I digress.

So if you're missing someone, chances are you are COMPLETELY HEALTHY AND NORMAL ;).  You have a heart and you most likely are not missing the person as much as the love you shared with them.  The action of love and being loved can take place with another human being so keep your mind focused on that and not your ex. 

Also, for those of you who saw the Keane "Bad Dream" video I posted on face book. I'm going to share something completely personal with you.  I've lived a life that is difficult to describe; I've jumped out of planes, built my own home on 300 acres, lived all over the world, been with Victoria Secret models, rubbed shoulders with celebrities and orphans, became a New York times best seller and had a movie based on my TV persona, basically everything I've gone after I've achieved. Pay attention,  This is NOT about me tooting my own horn, this is who I am. This is Steve Santagati. Moreover, I've discovered the penalty for being enlightened; the more "aware" you are and the more experienced you are, the more isolated you can feel.  I have very specific tastes in what I find attractive in a woman and I'm painfully aware of what I have to bring to the table.  Therefore, it's not easy for me to find a great woman or great friends that "get me" , can add to my life, and can fill in my gaps.

     I've always felt this tie with the universe / god [not the guy in the white robe]. What I ask for and pursue, I achieve, that simple.  Often times I will stand on a beach or in the woods with my eyes closed and arms spread wide and try to feel at one with the power of the universe.  NO I'M NOT A HIPPY OR TOUCHY FEELY.  We are part of the Earth; we possess the same power that pushes the waves, creates the lightening, the cold, the heat, and the wind.  When I give myself up to that and don't allow the borders of my body to exist I become one with that power and am Omnipotent.  So, when I put that song up it's because I've lost my faith.  I'm tired of fighting right now and I'm looking for a sign for what I am to do next.  It happens. We disconnect with that power. 

Return on investment

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"I feel free, healthy, HOT, and very alive today.  I have everything to bring to the table and nothing to lose"

If you feel like I do then why would you give yourself away to someone who "can't afford you"? If you don't feel like I do, you can change that in one month of applying yourself. Be selfish enough to only be the best, befriend the best, and available to the best.  

Every relationship is like a business transaction. Albeit, I don't mean to suck the romance or seduction out of the process but I want you to start thinking this way in a utilitarian sense. 

I've dated as much, if not more, than most people I know and, therefore, I believe I have a fairly accurate picture of what is available and who stands out in the crowd.  Women I date, normally, fall into two simple categories: the givers and the takers. Note: You would love to be a fly on the wall on one of my dates. I actually don't date as it's most commonly understood, I meet with you and if we like each other it turns into a date...but that's a future blog.

The Givers [ the minority ] :

These are the women who actually have something to bring to the table; they're sexy, interesting, can cook, have experienced a bit of life, and know how to treat a man.  They don't tell me how they love the outdoors and complain at the first drop of rain, they're not lazy and unmotivated, and they are happily independent but HAPPIER with me by their side.

The Takers [ paper tigers] :

These are the women and men who enter the relationship thinking, what can you do for me.  They are the unappreciative, unrealistic, and are unable to see the huge clock ticking above their heads.  They are the women who have spent little or no time on perfecting anything more than putting together a cheesy outfit or the perfect hair cut.  These are the women who think they're "doing me a favor" by having sex. Note: if anyone is doing a favor it's me LOL LOL . You'll just have to trust me on that one. 

We all know who the takers are, they're the club girls, the girls with no style, and the women who have settled for personal mediocrity. Oddly, these same women think they deserve a great guy.  They don't and they wouldn't be able to keep one around if they stumbled upon him anyway.

The Deal:

Falling in love is easy, as I've said many times, it happens to you, not you to it.  It doesn't require effort or much attention, it's blissful.  As the butterflies fade, they always will, that's part of brain chemistry, we find out who understands what it means to have a trusting loving partner and those who don't get it.  

If you find someone you love or even like a lot. It's your job to soul search and ask yourself what you have to balance the deal, what is he made of and what do you have to offer him.  It's your burden, as well as his, to keep stretching beyond who you are to reach for higher heights and personal growth.  You CAN become more interesting and more of a "catch" while you're with your new found love but it takes effort.  You can't be lazy in a relationship and not do your share. I've dated girls like this and once it's over [ I get bored, they "bottom out", or they don't heed my warning shots, or, even funnier, they leave me] they go back out into the nether of the dating world only to return to me once they've seen that I was the "best car on the lot."  I'm sure this has happened to some of you. It may take a month, a year, or more but if you're a catch, they'll be back.  

I know who I am and what I have to bring to the table. I can say with all confidence, not arrogance, I'm a catch.  From the bedroom to the kitchen, from best friend to protector, and from intelligent to silly, I've worked hard to cover my bases.  Have you?

Deal Breaker:

Don't go into deals with someone who aren't worth the cost or can't afford to "drive you".  This should be apparent in the first month of dating.  Cut your losses if they still need a bit more time in the oven to bake into someone worth eating...so to speak...lol...let them go.  If they're ripe, pluck them and makes something wonderful.

Ultimately we're all human beings and will know when someone unselfishly loves and accepts us. No matter how shallow we are, everyone can, in time, feel real love when it shows up at their door.  It's what makes us human. I've been with shallow girls whom I showed love and they came around, it's always amazing to watch them grow. 

Note: You'll shop until you drop for shoes, panties, and jeans so why not prepare yourself for the guy who is looking for just the right fit too.

DON'T FORGET TO SHOP BAD BOYS FINISH FIRST .COM AND BAD GIRLS FINISH FIRST . NET.

Dumper Dumpee

    No one wants to be broken up with, that's an obvious fact.  However, It's also excruciatingly clear that most people don't know how to break up with someone. Breaking up in a mature, sensitive, final, and affective manner is a skill.   A skill most of us will have to utilize at some point to break up with someone or deal with suffering the rejection of being dumped.   Applying what I'm about to share will prove helpful.  Be prepared, breaking up comes with drama so don't be a scared, move forward with aplomb and be direct. You will most likely be met with resistance or questioning and it's YOUR job to handle it with grace and strength.  Same holds true if you're the Dumpee.

Breaking up with Someone [You're the Dumper]:

One Night Stand: In a situation where he or she "didn't get the memo" that it is what it is:)

Step one:is to simply send a text or email and say you had fun and end it at that. If they keep pursuing you it's best to ignore them and they should get the hint.

Step Two: If they're persistent, and won't leave you alone, it's best to try and give them their dignity and soften the blow to their ego by saying: "I like you, we had fun,you're a wonderful person but I will not kid myself and I'm not going to lie to you, this ends here.  I know myself, by now, and it's not fair to me or you to try and fit a square peg in a round hole...so to speak."  BTW- if their "peg" is square that's reason enough to run. LOL

Short Relationship:

If you've been with this person close to or under three months it is best to call them {and follow up with a kind email if you think they're great, just not for you} and explain that you don't want to continue any longer. I'll get to the right words to use in a moment. 

Step one: Call them up and make sure they are free to talk, not distracted at work or driving etc, be polite and explain that you loved the time you two spent together but that after three months you don't feel what you should feel and that you will not waste their time or yours.  Do NOT give the "I just want to be friends" line.  Friendship, if it ever happens, will occur when they've had the time to deal with the hurt and rejection and are able to place it in a healthy spot in their heart and brain and see you as a friend, not a sex toy ;)

Long Relationship [as defined by a year or more together]:

Step One: This break up MUST HAPPEN FACE TO FACE. In preparation for the break up you must A. do some major soul searching and make sure that the decision you are about to make is something you can't and don't want to turn back on. B. Not an issue that can't be worked out.  I say this because most people don't realize relationships and love take effort and if you're lazy you'll never have love. C. DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY HINT ON THE PHONE, VIA TEXT, OR IN AN EMAIL THAT YOU ARE PLANNING TO DUMP THEM. Just call and set up a meeting.

I had a situation / client, not too long ago, where a woman didn't approach breaking up the right way.  She sent her man a text and gave him a heads up she was about to dump him.  They had been in a serious loving relationship for over a year so this was the wrong way for her to handle it.  The can of worms was open and a dialogue ensued  via text and email. It was confusing and hurtful - at best - to both of them. I recommended she met with her guy face to face and when they finally did he was able to find closure and they may, someday, be friends again. We all need closure when we're dumped. I asked if he was mad about the text and email stuff and she told me that he was but didn't blame her for not "breaking up in a mature healthy way". She said he loved her and realized she was never taught this procedure.  

Step Two: Have respect for their feelings, the amount of time you shared on this planet, and set up a time and place to go through the break up that is NOT in public [unless it's in your car in a parking lot or someplace neutral]. You don't want to be distracted by waiters, incoming phone calls, or environmental noise.  This is serious business folks, you're dealing with someone's heart. If you're breaking up with someone you have the power and they know that, they'll feel powerless. Any comfort, however little, will be appreciated. So be firm but kind and very specific and clear in your reasoning.    Plan on being there for at least an hour to possibly two. Hell folks, you can't just unravel a long relationship in fifteen minutes.

Step Three: Tying up the loose ends. If money was exchanged or personal possessions need to be returned, take care of it immediately

Step Four: Stick to your guns. If you made the decision to dump this person it will take time for your brain and heart to catch up with that decision.  You may second guess yourself, sometimes for good reason, you may have made the biggest mistake of your life.  They are gone now, no longer a part of your life.  The good news for the dumper - you in this case - is that if you want to reach out to them in the future, you can.  The person that was the dumpee - them- may not be open to it but you can at least try.  Everyone responds to being broken up with differently but one thing is for sure, you hurt them.  I've only been broken up with twice in my life and though both women made wise decisions to do so, it was difficult, even for me.  As a rule of thumb, it takes roughly a month for every three months you two were together for them to get completely over you. Everyone is different and this time frame can be slower or quicker depending on their maturity and desire-ability to other suitors.

Step Five: Answer any questions they may have and be specific and from your heart. When someone is dumped they need closure. If you loved them and they you, you owe them the respect to help them a little bit to get over you. If they are abusive with your time then going silent is fair. Keeping in touch will only make it more difficult for them to move on.

If YOU'RE DUMPED ;( 

1.Because he / she cheated on you. They are now dead to you and cut all and every tie you ever had with them.  Feel sick, throw up, but realize every pain you feel inside is about you being lied to, it's not about them. Give them nothing. They took away to much already.

2. Because they are moving away to pursue a dream.  Wish them well but do NOT follow them. Go over any details you need to find closure and begin the healing process. 

3. Because the sex got boring.  It takes two to tango so if the sex got boring it's their fault as much, if not more in many cases, than yours.  

4. Because "they're not ready" for the big commitment. As hard as it may be to stomach, as the hurt flows through your veins and flows from your eyes in endless tears, they are doing you a favor.  It's best to get out while the getting out is good. If someone has unfinished business to pursue in their lives and it doesn't include you, you don't want to get in the way of that. It would always be a thorn in their side and eventually fester. 

5. Because they need to be on their own to grow and discover who they are without you, even though they love you. Refer to the lyrics I've posted before from the Alanis Morrisette song: YOU OWE ME NOTHING.  I'm NOT one to get sucked into song lyrics and dogmatically follow their advice but this song, is the most clear and definite DEFINITION OF REAL LOVE THERE WILL EVER BE. IF YOU DON'T FEEL AND ACT AS THESE LYRICS DESCRIBE THEN YOU HAVE NEVER TRULY LOVED ANYONE.

Epiphany:

A long time ago I was dumped and, after the initial blow, instead of fighting her and causing more drama, I decided to not only accept her decision but to offer help in any way I could so that she could pursue the dreams that she felt were right for her.  I didn't do this by getting in her face, I did it by making specific overtures she could rely on and then fading into the background.  Folks, if you truly love someone , even if you don't agree with  their decision or if it hurts you, you will acquiesce to their decision.  

How it ended: What was her initially cold and rude coping mechanism soon turned warm and jovial, her entire attitude changed when she saw I supported her choice. There was peace and quiet and we left each other on good terms. It's going with the flow. 

Have healthy relationships and healthy break ups.

Please remember to go to bad boys finish first .com to show your support.

 

Lie to me Die to me

Let's be honest, errr....NOT lie, we all lie to people from time to time. We justify it by saying: "I don't want to hurt their feelings" or, MORE OFTEN, we do it to selfishly protect ourselves from the firestorm that will ensue if we reveal the TRUTH.  We're chicken, afraid, scared, weak, or sleazy and reject the opportunity to tell the truth.  Nothing complicated about that.

TYPES OF LIES:

WHITE LIES:

(update your list, this one is short)

1. A white lie is when you deny someone the truth because it will only hurt them, a no harm no foul sort of thing: i.e. When a girl asks her husband / boyfriend if she looks pretty today and he says "yes" even though she looks like shit.

2. Any lie you use with the cops to get out of being arrested.

3. Lying in a life or death situation.

Black Lies:

1. Cheating

2. Not being honest with your closest friends even if the truth is going to hurt them. i.e. Their weight, health, you know their girlfriend / boyfriend is cheating on them, drinking problems etc.

3. Any lie that has malicious intent or a creates a festering problem because it was told. i.e. a close friend  asks you a question and you lie to their face.  Especially lies that will obviously be revealed as such in the future [almost all do] 

4. Any lie that can cause harm or danger to someone, i.e. not telling someone to look out for so and so, or warning them about eminent danger...etc.

5. The kind of Lying that sleaze bags do as a means to an end to make a dollar.  We all know them!

The Grey area:

THERE IS NONE! There is no grey area, You either lie or tell the truth. That is why both lying and telling the truth are so pure...there are no ands ifs or buts about it.

What to do. 

When ever I begin a new relationship, the first brick I lay in the foundation of our relationship is the brick of trust. Just like a brick wall, the more time and experience you two share the more trust is supposed to be built up.  There is no time limit, it can happen quickly or slowly.

     Laying Brick is exactly the right analogy here because honesty and trust are a heavy responsibilities, especially if you're dating me. I take trust and honesty as the most powerful thing two people can share. Not being with a woman I can trust? I may as well be alone. When you use those three precious words "I Love You, you have to unflinchingly know the responsibility that comes along with that breath; the person you're with has your back and you theirs.  It's you and her / you and him against the world. Moreover, I, personally, return the gesture in spades. Brick also works here because if you lie to me it's like throwing a brick through my picture window, I don't take it well.

What to do Part Two:

1. I actively create an environment where the blatent ugly truth is the only way you two interact with one another, the best and only choice regardless of the consequences. Albeit, you can deliver the truth with tact and grace. Not all of the girls, I've dated, take to this policy to heart but years later they get in touch and thank me...

btw-Most people are big fat liars, keep that in mind ;-)

  2. I "check in" through out the relationship and have them do the same; there are always opportunities to tell the truth when you're with someone, so keep it fresh and don't lie. Ask them VERY SPECIFIC QUESTIONS knowing full well they can't lie because you already know the answer [best to ask this via email or txt or face to face as all three have their benefits...you have it in writing.] To Create a lie free or at least a lie a little less zone you must start, day one, by being brutally honest with them and, like wise, NOT OVER REACTING OR GOING NUTS WHEN THEY TELL YOU A TRUTH YOU MAY NOT WANT TO HEAR.  Folks if you want to hear the truth you must also have to know how to deal with it.  Keep that in mind.

 

Dealing with Liars:

Liars have to deal with themselves. They know what they did and, if the lie is hurtful enough, they will suffer, rest assured. If you catch someone you love, and don't want to lose, in a lie simply ask them why they lied. If you're not satisfied with the answer, dump them immediately.  My point is that we all make mistakes, we all lie, but give them the chance to fess up.  Try not to judge them too harshly less you be judged the same. However, If someone has broken the sacred code of trust and honesty, they are now dead to you.  Have a silent funeral for them because they are not worth the tears or the time. Move on.

Bad Boys and Bad Girls secret: The elite subculture of bad boys and bad girls make it our business to know and talk to everyone. Though we are extremely private ourselves,our network is vast and we always get to the bottom of things.  Don't mess with the bull or you get the horns ;-)

 

Don't forget to go to bad boys finish first .com / bad girls finish first .net and order you Christmas gifts early for the bad boy and bad girl in your life.

xo

s